I'm a writer currently living in Las Vegas, loathing the city and drinking away the days, trying to escape the madness. Check out DrewBlanche.com for more info.
“My Girlfriend Jumped Five Stories”
by Drew Blanche
I was looking out over the ledge of the five story balcony when I heard her slip and fall. I rushed back into the kitchen to witness her sprawled out on the tile floor, her dress spread wildly across the slick flooring of our Manhattan apartment. I leaned down to help her up, gripping her right arm and pulling her forcefully upward.
”Don’t touch me,” she screeched. “I’ll live, I just stumbled on these damn shoes.” After she stood she reached down to yank off her heels one at a time throwing them across the floor into the living room. They hit the expensive sofa and bounced off landing on the coca carpet rug. “You need me to help with anything?” I asked.
My look of concern seemed to only annoy the shit out of her. We had only been dating a couple months but the place was ours, we shared it in the city. She was an amazing artist and I was a struggling writer to be. She reached for the bottle of white wine and began pouring, “No,” she said. “I can take care of the rest.”
What I didn’t realize until later on is that she had written a suicide note in lipstick and it was smeared across the bathroom mirror. I discovered it only after unzipping my trousers and taking a leak which seemed to last three generations. I pictured old cavemen becoming bald and white men in suits and ties with jobs. After flushing I went over to the sink and turned on the faucet and a stream of cold water hit my hands and coated them. After I had rubbed them together and felt satisfied with their cleanness that’s when I glanced up in the mirror and saw the message. It was in red, the lettering was big and curly shaped with lots of loops.
I didn’t bother drying my hands as I reached for the handle of the door and rushed into the living room to see her still alive, standing at the edge of the kitchen with two wine glasses in her hands. She moved towards me handing me one and she began taking a long sip of organic white wine. I took a swallow myself, staring back at her tensely, looking deep into her hollow eyes. She smiled, then she moved towards her purse and took out her smokes. She lit one up with her father’s vintage lighter, WWII I believe it was. Then she offered me one and I watched her place it in between my lips and light it. I sucked the end and exhaled after a couple seconds.
She then moved toward the balcony and I quickly followed. I watched her smoke as I stood next to her as she ash her cigarette over the ledge. I stared at her until I got the nerve to ask her about the note. “What are you planning to do?” I asked. I felt sickly inside so I took another swallow of wine. She exhaled a long drag, staring deeply into my black eyes. “Nothing or maybe…I don’t really know. I haven’t decided yet.” I watched her as she moved closer to the ledge and looked toward the city. It was lit up with lights all around us. After a short pause, “Wouldn’t it be perfect to just leap off the ledge and just fly for a moment before your death?” I didn’t say anything, I knew my answer didn’t matter.
Then, “I suppose it would be.” I finally uttered underneath my breath. She threw her cigarette over the ledge and turned quickly to me. “You don’t even know what it feels like to die, do you?” “No.” “It’s madness, pure madness and rage and horrifying to say the least.” “Then why do you want to kill yourself?” She was pissed at my last remark. “I just can’t handle this routine anymore, this daily nightmare. It’s as if I’m my father’s slave or something. You know what it’s like going to work for him, please tell me you hate it. You hate it don’t you?” “I never thought about it.” “See that’s the thing, you never stop to think, to think about things, about the way they effect you.” I set down my wine glass and moved closer to her.
“I’m just, I’m not ready to give it all up and just walk away. It’s not that simple you know.” “It is though, it’s that simple. Don’t you see…we could be free, the two of us, off in another world, so free and so happy. Just the two of us.” I didn’t understand her logic. Being dead didn’t seem like the answer and what if after you died, the real nightmare began. “Tell me you’re joking?” “No, no I’m not kidding Frank. You know me, I don’t kid. I don’t have the fancy to kid around anymore.”
Then she turned sharply in my arms and grabbed a hold of the rail and began stepping over with one leg. As she got over she turned to me again. “I know you love me Frank, but this is the end of our happiness. We will have to join hands on the other side if you want to continue this love.” Then she turned towards the city and inhaled one last breath before letting go.
I rushed forward watching the bundle of hair float up towards me as she fell with immensity. I couldn’t bare the sight of watching her hit the ground so I closed my eyes. A Sarah McLachlan song entered my head and I listened until the silence rung dead.
NIGHTNIGHT by DEDDY
