N O N I C A L

Saying Hello To Windows

This poem was rejected by Everyday Poets. I think I was drunk when I submitted the lousy poem which only took 3 minutes to write, hoping to get $1 for my contribution. Below you can read their feedback, and I may agree on some line breaks however, I do not agree with the rest. I still think it’s a great poem and that’s not to say that I am drunk now even though I most likely “was” drunk then.

“Saying Hello To Windows”

I had my daily rum screwdriver
with an unfiltered stick of joy
as I bickered about and paced
back and forth with such madness
though it felt good to be somewhere else
on the road, on another walk down the strip
unsure of which direction for which I were heading
I only wanted to see the lights and hear the music
and dance in all my steps while I drank and smoked
and rubbed my empty belly and put the thought of food
out of my mind because I was having a buzz
some girls passed me and I sought them with beauty
for I am the great American writer and forever lonely
typing my life away—reading over my stupid ramblings
wanting to be great—diving into a stack of loose sheet papers
and scoring a big lousy hit of madness—sadness all about
losing my grip on stupid boring life goals—more bickering
with less sorrow and drinking away under the moodlight
listening to my heart swell and nothing else even mattered
as I sat down and lit up another Lucky and sighed

From The Editors

Thank you for your submission to Every Day Poets. I regret to inform you that we are unable to use it at this time.

I can see some potential here, but think it needs some work still. Maybe some line breaks?
In line 7 that should be “was” and not “were”.
“I sought them with beauty” ??
— Robin Sue Herrnfeld

No. It has potential, but it’s not there yet.
— Amy Corbin

Too loose and rambling.
— Jeff Jeppesen



We wish you good luck in placing the poem elsewhere.

Posted 11 months ago